1 00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:05,173 www.napiprojekt.pl - new quality of subtitles. The subtitles have been specially adapted to your version of the film. 2 00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:04,214 /Uncle Barney /he's always been a bit mysterious. 3 00:00:04,214 --> 00:00:08,595 /Since he's been living in New York, /no one has ever set foot in his apartment. 4 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:11,808 /Until one day, /one of us did it. 5 00:00:14,687 --> 00:00:16,315 /It's a really beautiful story. 6 00:00:16,315 --> 00:00:19,110 /Believe it or not /but alcohol played no role. 7 00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:21,990 /It all started two weeks ago, /before Lily moved into her new apartment. 8 00:00:22,115 --> 00:00:24,410 2 WEEKS EARLIER Welcome to my new home. 9 00:00:24,494 --> 00:00:27,207 Lily, this is... 10 00:00:27,499 --> 00:00:29,502 That's it. 11 00:00:29,502 --> 00:00:32,214 I know it's small but it has something. 12 00:00:32,214 --> 00:00:32,924 Thanks. 13 00:00:32,924 --> 00:00:36,428 Well, I'll learn Lithuanian from my neighbors. 14 00:00:36,512 --> 00:00:37,305 They are great. 15 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:41,603 They are always somewhere in the corridor, they cook, play cards or shave. 16 00:00:41,603 --> 00:00:43,106 That's nice. 17 00:00:43,439 --> 00:00:45,442 Is the toilet in the kitchen? 18 00:00:45,442 --> 00:00:47,612 Is that the stove in the bathroom? 19 00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:50,117 This is no ordinary stove. 20 00:00:50,242 --> 00:00:51,827 This is the kitchen sink: 21 00:00:51,827 --> 00:00:55,834 sink connection, stove, refrigerator and oven. 22 00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:57,127 Kitchen sink. 23 00:00:57,127 --> 00:00:58,629 Isn't this futuristic? 24 00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:00,132 God, I hope not. 25 00:01:00,132 --> 00:01:02,844 Nice bed. 26 00:01:02,844 --> 00:01:06,141 Yes, but I didn't make it in time make bed this morning... 27 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:12,817 You know what? I bet that sleeping in this corner will be good for you. 28 00:01:12,817 --> 00:01:14,445 For some reason. 29 00:01:14,445 --> 00:01:16,239 I have them. 30 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:25,337 It was something, something, I think you're missing something 31 00:01:25,337 --> 00:01:28,467 you, something, donkey. 32 00:01:30,052 --> 00:01:32,138 Other cultures. 33 00:01:32,138 --> 00:01:34,935 Maybe we can empty the fruit basket. 34 00:01:34,935 --> 00:01:37,146 Who ate all...? 35 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,238 How I Met Your Mother [2x03] World's Greatest Couple "THE BEST COUPLE IN THE WORLD" 36 00:01:53,672 --> 00:01:58,262 We need to find Lily another apartment, because shed as a roommate. 37 00:01:58,262 --> 00:02:01,558 She could live with me, but I have five dogs and she is allergic to them. 38 00:02:01,558 --> 00:02:04,855 Dogs? I live with her ex-boyfriend. She's probably more allergic to him. 39 00:02:04,981 --> 00:02:07,484 What about your apartment, Barney? I know it's shrouded in mystery 40 00:02:07,484 --> 00:02:08,652 but I guess you have a couch. 41 00:02:08,652 --> 00:02:10,948 In the BartnoĊ›ci Fortress? No way. 42 00:02:10,948 --> 00:02:12,366 Come on. She's desperate. 43 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,579 A condition for bringing women home, 44 00:02:14,579 --> 00:02:16,080 is my consent. 45 00:02:16,163 --> 00:02:23,967 One of you is very lucky because I have free ticket to an Alanis Morissette concert. Who's coming? 46 00:02:23,967 --> 00:02:25,469 - Absolutely not. - NO. 47 00:02:25,469 --> 00:02:28,474 Cholera! I got these tickets about a month ago for me and Lily, 48 00:02:28,474 --> 00:02:30,769 and now I can't find it no one to go with me. 49 00:02:30,769 --> 00:02:32,772 That's what it is what I miss about being a couple. 50 00:02:32,772 --> 00:02:39,575 I always had someone to go with go to a concert, to the store or to dinner. 51 00:02:37,989 --> 00:02:39,575 God, how I miss dinner! 52 00:02:39,575 --> 00:02:42,579 I think that you can go to dinner alone. 53 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,665 You think I haven't tried? 54 00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,293 One table. 55 00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:48,671 For a couple? 56 00:02:48,671 --> 00:02:50,090 No, just for me. 57 00:02:50,090 --> 00:02:51,384 Really? 58 00:02:51,384 --> 00:02:53,179 For dinner? 59 00:02:53,304 --> 00:02:55,390 You're right. Who am I to joke like that? 60 00:02:56,391 --> 00:02:59,813 Spongepot Pantry. Great place. Maybe we can go there for lunch tomorrow? 61 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,191 Of course, honey. 62 00:03:01,191 --> 00:03:02,400 Can I go with you? 63 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,988 Are you serious? For dinner? 64 00:03:05,197 --> 00:03:07,617 God, I hate being alone! 65 00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:12,917 Okay, I'll take the Pittsburgh game. 66 00:03:12,917 --> 00:03:17,215 Oh, from P. to S., I haven't taken a paycheck from Seattle in two weeks. 67 00:03:17,215 --> 00:03:21,388 Yes. Don't call me about it gambling commission hanging over you. 68 00:03:21,388 --> 00:03:24,518 I'm sure they'll want to know what's going on there. 69 00:03:24,518 --> 00:03:27,188 Bright? Bright? 70 00:03:27,815 --> 00:03:30,110 Okay, I love you too, Mom. Take care. 71 00:03:33,615 --> 00:03:35,493 Hello, Lily. 72 00:03:37,997 --> 00:03:40,834 Somehow you bypassed my protection. 73 00:03:40,918 --> 00:03:42,712 How did you do it? 74 00:03:42,712 --> 00:03:44,423 Ted gave me a spare key. 75 00:03:44,423 --> 00:03:46,509 Spare key, brilliant! 76 00:03:46,509 --> 00:03:50,808 I'm sorry but you know I come here because I have no other choice. 77 00:03:50,808 --> 00:03:54,522 When I wanted to go to sleep today... 78 00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:08,710 Good morning. 79 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,926 It's terrible. 80 00:04:13,926 --> 00:04:15,638 Well, for now. 81 00:04:15,638 --> 00:04:17,849 Can I stay here? 82 00:04:17,849 --> 00:04:21,355 I would let you but I don't have a spare room. 83 00:04:21,355 --> 00:04:23,441 You live in a two-room apartment. 84 00:04:23,441 --> 00:04:26,236 In one room you only keep suits. 85 00:04:26,236 --> 00:04:30,242 My suits this is my family. 86 00:04:30,242 --> 00:04:32,245 Look around Lily. 87 00:04:32,329 --> 00:04:34,958 You are in the nation's capital free from marriages. 88 00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:38,254 As a woman, you are an illegal immigrant here. 89 00:04:38,254 --> 00:04:42,345 You can get a sex visa now but only for 12 hours. 90 00:04:42,345 --> 00:04:45,432 14 if you qualify for a few more entries. 91 00:04:45,641 --> 00:04:50,440 That's kinda lame a sensible chick would say 92 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:54,238 that it's not enough. 93 00:04:54,446 --> 00:04:56,741 You're really desperate. 94 00:04:56,741 --> 00:04:57,952 Really. 95 00:04:57,952 --> 00:05:01,874 Okay, you can stay for two days. 96 00:05:01,874 --> 00:05:05,839 There is only one rule. You are not to change anything. 97 00:05:05,964 --> 00:05:09,051 Why should I change anything? Here it is so... 98 00:05:09,761 --> 00:05:11,054 ...perfect. 99 00:05:11,764 --> 00:05:14,476 Apart from the fact that you don't have a TV. 100 00:05:14,476 --> 00:05:16,479 See that wall? 101 00:05:19,985 --> 00:05:23,073 300-inch flat screen. 102 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:26,077 They only sell it in Japan, but I have connections there. 103 00:05:26,286 --> 00:05:29,875 Even an ordinary ship looks here like the terrifying King Kong. 104 00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:31,252 It hurts my eyes. 105 00:05:31,377 --> 00:05:34,257 Yes. But they can't get away from it. 106 00:05:35,592 --> 00:05:37,678 - Hi. - Where were you? 107 00:05:37,678 --> 00:05:39,389 At the concert Alanis Morissette. 108 00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:40,475 Alone? 109 00:05:40,475 --> 00:05:42,770 No, I was with a friend from law school. 110 00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:46,192 Seriously? Who is it? 111 00:05:46,192 --> 00:05:47,986 Brad. 112 00:05:48,695 --> 00:05:52,284 - Alanis Morissette rocks! - Entirely! 113 00:05:52,284 --> 00:05:53,995 I can't believe I was so close and I wouldn't go there. 114 00:05:53,995 --> 00:05:55,790 Let me guess: You bought these tickets for you and Lily, 115 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,292 before she dumped you. 116 00:05:57,292 --> 00:05:59,086 Yes, but how do you know that? 117 00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:00,880 I'm alone too. 118 00:06:01,005 --> 00:06:03,593 Kara broke up with you? 119 00:06:04,386 --> 00:06:06,680 I'm sorry. This sucks. 120 00:06:09,685 --> 00:06:11,688 Brad, will you go to dinner with me? 121 00:06:11,688 --> 00:06:13,191 Did you invite him to dinner? 122 00:06:13,191 --> 00:06:15,694 Yes, I invited him to dinner. What's so strange about that? 123 00:06:15,694 --> 00:06:19,492 That's why I'm asking "Did you invite him to dinner?" 124 00:06:19,617 --> 00:06:23,206 Why two buddies can't we go to dinner together? 125 00:06:23,206 --> 00:06:25,710 Because dinner is so... 126 00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:27,087 Girly. 127 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,590 Girlish? Breakfast is not girly. 128 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,095 Lunch is not girly. Why is dinner girly? 129 00:06:32,095 --> 00:06:33,012 I don't know. 130 00:06:33,012 --> 00:06:34,890 There's nothing girly about it in a horse. 131 00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:36,810 Nothing girly in the corner, 132 00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:39,397 but put it together and a unicorn will be created. 133 00:06:40,107 --> 00:06:41,901 I don't care about your opinion. 134 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:45,114 I'm going to the Biscuit Pantry with Brad. 135 00:06:45,198 --> 00:06:46,908 We are here. We are hungry. 136 00:06:47,410 --> 00:06:49,204 We usually eat dinner. 137 00:06:54,712 --> 00:06:57,800 - It smells wonderful. - Thank you. 138 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,512 There was no food in the fridge, so I brought... 139 00:07:00,512 --> 00:07:02,140 What are you doing? 140 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:04,018 Lily, what was the first rule? 141 00:07:04,018 --> 00:07:05,312 Don't change anything. 142 00:07:05,312 --> 00:07:07,106 And the second rule? 143 00:07:07,106 --> 00:07:08,942 - There was no second rule. - Exactly! 144 00:07:08,942 --> 00:07:12,030 There is only one rule and you broke it. 145 00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:15,327 I did some shopping. Does this count as change? 146 00:07:15,410 --> 00:07:17,622 Lily, if I wanted to, to keep the fridge full, 147 00:07:17,622 --> 00:07:19,541 so that I can have fresh coffee every morning, 148 00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:21,712 I would be in a relationship. 149 00:07:22,630 --> 00:07:26,844 But I don't want to be in any relationship. 150 00:07:26,844 --> 00:07:29,933 That's why every girl who walks through this door is crystal clear. 151 00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:32,144 He can't stay after her even a toothbrush. 152 00:07:32,144 --> 00:07:34,731 He can't stay even contact lenses. 153 00:07:34,731 --> 00:07:37,026 She can't stay here at all. 154 00:07:37,026 --> 00:07:38,737 Come on, I'll show you around. 155 00:07:38,737 --> 00:07:40,657 Just no photography please. 156 00:07:41,659 --> 00:07:43,954 Welcome to the bedroom. 157 00:07:44,037 --> 00:07:45,748 Look at this: a king's bed, 158 00:07:45,748 --> 00:07:47,751 large blanket, one pillow. 159 00:07:47,751 --> 00:07:51,340 This bed says that "our job here is done." 160 00:07:51,465 --> 00:07:54,429 Then welcome to the bathroom. 161 00:07:54,554 --> 00:07:56,640 What, just one towel? 162 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,268 What, no hairdryer? 163 00:07:58,268 --> 00:08:01,647 Do you know where I keep it? At your place. Finish it. 164 00:08:01,730 --> 00:08:05,069 And finally... 165 00:08:08,450 --> 00:08:10,661 Yes, that's true. 166 00:08:11,872 --> 00:08:13,457 Temporary patent. 167 00:08:13,457 --> 00:08:16,253 Welcome to the hall. 168 00:08:16,253 --> 00:08:18,465 While Ted and Marshall they have to hide porn... 169 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,967 Marshall has no porn. 170 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,762 That's sweet. 171 00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:24,056 While Ted and Marshall they have to hide porn, 172 00:08:24,056 --> 00:08:27,353 I have them... professionally illuminated. 173 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:31,985 When the girls see this, then they want to get out of here quickly. 174 00:08:31,985 --> 00:08:35,949 Even if they go away, then you're always left with a stormtrooper. 175 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,161 He is nothing but amazing. 176 00:08:38,161 --> 00:08:40,457 As you can see, any girl would wake up here 177 00:08:40,457 --> 00:08:43,085 I always tell her to build her nest somewhere else. 178 00:08:43,085 --> 00:08:45,464 My apartment is for me. 179 00:08:46,089 --> 00:08:48,177 God, I love dinner. 180 00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:49,762 Oh shit... 181 00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:52,058 This zucchini bread is divine. 182 00:08:52,975 --> 00:08:54,770 It's not weird, is it? 183 00:08:54,770 --> 00:08:56,189 In a sense maybe yes 184 00:08:56,189 --> 00:08:57,482 but generally no. 185 00:08:57,565 --> 00:09:00,779 By the way, you didn't underestimate Benny's balls. 186 00:09:00,779 --> 00:09:01,781 True? True? 187 00:09:01,781 --> 00:09:06,287 Why can't two buddies just go to dinner together on Sunday? 188 00:09:06,287 --> 00:09:09,793 That's it. Thanks, that's what I wanted to say. 189 00:09:10,293 --> 00:09:12,088 It must be fate. 190 00:09:12,088 --> 00:09:13,298 What are you talking about? 191 00:09:13,298 --> 00:09:15,802 I have two tickets at Mamma Mia on Friday night. 192 00:09:15,802 --> 00:09:17,388 You like Abba, don't you? 193 00:09:17,388 --> 00:09:18,890 What am I saying? Who doesn't like them? 194 00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:22,688 Anyway, I was supposed to take Kara, but now it's just me and you left. 195 00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:25,275 We're going to Broadway, brotherly style. What do you say? 196 00:09:25,275 --> 00:09:26,777 Sure! 197 00:09:33,787 --> 00:09:37,710 Hi. You were so cold that you woke up? 198 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:41,007 No, I just watched you sleep. 199 00:09:41,591 --> 00:09:44,888 Did you want to take a shower? Sorry, I only have one clean towel. 200 00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:48,894 You can't tell me it's every day you need to take a shower. 201 00:09:49,019 --> 00:09:50,813 Okay. 202 00:09:51,397 --> 00:09:54,402 I'd offer you a coffee, but I don't have any, you will also have to... 203 00:09:54,402 --> 00:09:55,696 I don't drink coffee. 204 00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:59,202 Maybe you're doing a good job but I don't like Colombian boors. 205 00:09:59,202 --> 00:10:01,330 God, I love this place. 206 00:10:01,330 --> 00:10:05,920 I'm glad I don't have a job, because I can be here all the time. 207 00:10:06,795 --> 00:10:09,425 I think I left something on the shelf. 208 00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:13,139 Oh no. Don't look at it. 209 00:10:13,139 --> 00:10:16,018 I'm disgusted by this. 210 00:10:16,018 --> 00:10:18,523 You express your sexuality so openly 211 00:10:18,606 --> 00:10:21,318 and this is one of the reasons why I love you. 212 00:10:21,527 --> 00:10:23,530 Did I say that? 213 00:10:23,530 --> 00:10:26,243 I'll go unpack my bag. 214 00:10:26,243 --> 00:10:28,037 I love you. 215 00:10:28,037 --> 00:10:32,210 Yep, beep, beep. I support this... 216 00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:34,713 Hello, Barney. Oh... 217 00:10:34,713 --> 00:10:37,844 Oh my God. Are you married? Is this your wife? 218 00:10:37,844 --> 00:10:39,638 What? NO. 219 00:10:39,638 --> 00:10:41,348 Yes! 220 00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:43,936 - Yes? - Yes. 221 00:10:43,936 --> 00:10:45,730 You son of a bitch! 222 00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:49,236 I can't believe I let you to enter my temple. 223 00:10:49,236 --> 00:10:52,950 Come on. Please don't. You don't understand. 224 00:10:52,950 --> 00:10:56,037 What did I do? This is the worst. How can you...? 225 00:10:56,831 --> 00:10:59,751 You're not going anywhere. 226 00:11:04,759 --> 00:11:07,138 It was close. 227 00:11:07,138 --> 00:11:08,849 This stupid chick she didn't want to leave here. 228 00:11:08,849 --> 00:11:10,560 She wanted to live here. 229 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:14,357 And she saw yours a jumping toilet bowl? 230 00:11:14,357 --> 00:11:17,153 She was immune for everything in my apartment... 231 00:11:17,153 --> 00:11:18,864 except you. 232 00:11:19,239 --> 00:11:21,659 You are better than porn. 233 00:11:21,744 --> 00:11:23,162 Thanks. 234 00:11:23,162 --> 00:11:26,042 Do you want to continue living here? 235 00:11:26,042 --> 00:11:28,378 The only thing you have to do is to pretend to be my wife 236 00:11:28,378 --> 00:11:30,256 and deter my one night partners. 237 00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,676 I know, I know. It's not very ethical. You have your rules... 238 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,054 I will do it. 239 00:11:34,054 --> 00:11:35,264 Really? 240 00:11:35,264 --> 00:11:39,062 Barney, you cleaned it some real motherly things, 241 00:11:39,062 --> 00:11:43,360 and the equivalent of your emotionality could be the cleaner for scoundrels like you. 242 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:49,661 But in my other apartment, I would have to live together with another scoundrel, you also won. 243 00:11:49,786 --> 00:11:51,455 Agreement. 244 00:11:52,164 --> 00:11:54,961 - Mamma Mia? - Mamma Mia. 245 00:11:54,961 --> 00:11:57,881 This is great show, okay? 246 00:11:57,881 --> 00:11:59,884 It has won lots of awards. 247 00:11:59,884 --> 00:12:03,473 Sure. Sounds like really fun, interesting third date. 248 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,770 Third date. You know what that means. 249 00:12:07,479 --> 00:12:09,190 This isn't a date. 250 00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:12,195 Just two buddies goes to Broadway. 251 00:12:12,195 --> 00:12:14,282 Buddies who are going to go out to dinner together before? 252 00:12:14,282 --> 00:12:15,867 We ordered steak. 253 00:12:15,993 --> 00:12:17,787 Where? 254 00:12:18,997 --> 00:12:20,874 Cafe L'Amour. 255 00:12:21,293 --> 00:12:24,505 Brad said he was there really good food. 256 00:12:24,505 --> 00:12:27,010 Sounds like Brad he had already planned the night. 257 00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:28,386 Better bring your A game. 258 00:12:28,386 --> 00:12:31,099 That is no granny panties. 259 00:12:31,099 --> 00:12:33,185 Okay, you know what? You are at risk 260 00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:35,898 because a lonely guy joins a group of friends. 261 00:12:35,898 --> 00:12:38,694 You know what? It's my business. 262 00:12:38,694 --> 00:12:42,115 I don't care all those dinners and shows. 263 00:12:42,115 --> 00:12:45,704 That's true. Brad and I are going to Broadway. 264 00:12:45,704 --> 00:12:46,998 What will you wear? 265 00:12:46,998 --> 00:12:49,209 I was thinking about this one collared shirt and these... 266 00:12:49,209 --> 00:12:50,795 You know what? Shut up. 267 00:12:52,298 --> 00:12:54,801 You give it to me Arts and Free Time? 268 00:13:00,602 --> 00:13:03,105 You give it to me Arts and Free Time? 269 00:13:03,105 --> 00:13:04,816 I gave it to you. 270 00:13:04,816 --> 00:13:06,611 Baby, I... 271 00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:10,408 Barney, what's going on here? 272 00:13:10,492 --> 00:13:11,702 Lily, can I explain this... 273 00:13:11,702 --> 00:13:14,706 How could you? In our house? 274 00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:16,417 You bastard! 275 00:13:16,417 --> 00:13:19,214 - Sorry. I didn't know he... - Get out. 276 00:13:19,214 --> 00:13:24,806 This is what I have after working for four years as a stripper so you can go to medical school? 277 00:13:24,806 --> 00:13:27,017 I had my breasts enlarged for you. 278 00:13:27,101 --> 00:13:31,232 I make money from this crying. 279 00:13:31,607 --> 00:13:33,735 Way to go. 280 00:13:33,819 --> 00:13:36,030 It was amazing. 281 00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:39,244 And that's a brilliant slap. You didn't hold back. 282 00:13:39,244 --> 00:13:41,915 Yes, I always wanted to do this. 283 00:13:41,915 --> 00:13:43,333 Enough. 284 00:13:43,709 --> 00:13:47,548 I have to say that this food is a good change. 285 00:13:47,548 --> 00:13:48,842 You know... 286 00:13:48,925 --> 00:13:50,720 anyway, it doesn't matter. 287 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:51,847 What? 288 00:13:51,847 --> 00:13:54,142 You are my wife. You can tell me anything. 289 00:13:54,225 --> 00:13:56,937 If really you want to set traps here, 290 00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:00,151 we need this place make a little more... 291 00:14:00,151 --> 00:14:01,320 you know, homemade. 292 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,948 As if a woman lived here. 293 00:14:03,948 --> 00:14:06,035 What do you mean? 294 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,174 Oh, I'm home now. 295 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,261 I thought I wouldn't see you earlier than tomorrow morning. 296 00:14:45,261 --> 00:14:48,557 Ha, ha, ha. It wasn't a date. 297 00:14:49,768 --> 00:14:52,982 Okay, it was a date and it's very strange. 298 00:14:56,361 --> 00:14:58,072 You don't have to do this. 299 00:14:58,072 --> 00:15:00,785 No, I have to. You are my guest. 300 00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:02,453 Thanks, Brad. 301 00:15:03,288 --> 00:15:07,461 You have chocolate on the chin. 302 00:15:09,756 --> 00:15:11,092 Still. 303 00:15:11,092 --> 00:15:12,970 I'll do it. 304 00:15:17,894 --> 00:15:19,396 It could have been worse. 305 00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:21,691 He could have fallen before you on your knees. 306 00:15:23,569 --> 00:15:25,280 It was worse. 307 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:28,493 I'll be fine, Brad. Thanks. 308 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,999 It's Saturday. 309 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,668 Do you want to come over? 310 00:15:34,377 --> 00:15:37,299 You want me to take it wedding with you? 311 00:15:37,883 --> 00:15:40,178 Okay, it wasn't that bad. 312 00:15:40,178 --> 00:15:42,974 Two lonely guys are on the prowl. It's like Wedding Vultures. 313 00:15:42,974 --> 00:15:45,978 Just hang in there away from Brad's bouquets. 314 00:15:47,481 --> 00:15:49,484 It was worse. 315 00:15:49,484 --> 00:15:50,903 It'll be all right. 316 00:15:50,903 --> 00:15:54,199 Leaves in Vermont they are only once a year. 317 00:15:54,199 --> 00:15:55,201 Vermont? 318 00:15:55,201 --> 00:15:57,996 Yes, there is a cool BandB at a wedding. 319 00:15:57,996 --> 00:16:00,209 Kara and I used to go there. 320 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:03,088 There is one room available, so we take it. 321 00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,383 Get a suit from Walt Whitman. 322 00:16:09,597 --> 00:16:11,392 You didn't agree, right? 323 00:16:11,392 --> 00:16:12,811 Sure. 324 00:16:12,811 --> 00:16:14,188 I see. 325 00:16:14,188 --> 00:16:15,398 All right. 326 00:16:15,398 --> 00:16:20,114 This is the first time I'm meeting my friends from college since Kara left me. 327 00:16:20,114 --> 00:16:21,700 I... 328 00:16:23,494 --> 00:16:25,831 I miss her so much. 329 00:16:29,503 --> 00:16:31,715 I'll go to Vermont with you. 330 00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:34,301 That's great! 331 00:16:34,635 --> 00:16:36,513 I registered us in the Ceramic Stable. 332 00:16:43,441 --> 00:16:46,612 Sorry. This isn't funny anymore. 333 00:16:46,612 --> 00:16:48,741 Stupid dinner! 334 00:16:49,533 --> 00:16:51,119 He's crazy, isn't he? 335 00:16:51,119 --> 00:16:53,330 He's not crazy. 336 00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:56,836 He suffers after this how that girl dumped him. 337 00:16:56,836 --> 00:16:59,548 And you are his nicotine patch. 338 00:16:59,548 --> 00:17:03,513 And now you should do this what every bad couple must do: 339 00:17:03,638 --> 00:17:04,639 Separate. 340 00:17:04,639 --> 00:17:06,017 You're right. You're right. I promised Brad 341 00:17:06,017 --> 00:17:08,520 that I would go to the wedding with him and then I will do it. 342 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,023 Good man. 343 00:17:10,732 --> 00:17:15,531 We made a good decision by going to Italian a shop with hand-sewn bedding. 344 00:17:15,531 --> 00:17:19,245 If my bed is properly dressed, then the job will go well. 345 00:17:19,245 --> 00:17:21,248 Do you want to lie here? 346 00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:27,841 Okay, I have to look out from behind these bars. 347 00:17:27,841 --> 00:17:29,344 What are you going to do? 348 00:17:29,344 --> 00:17:33,350 I was supposed to watch The Conqueror but this bed is so comfortable. 349 00:17:33,350 --> 00:17:35,853 It's a pity you don't have a TV here. 350 00:17:39,943 --> 00:17:43,448 Okay, but seriously, how do you manage to live here? 351 00:17:43,448 --> 00:17:44,951 Please. 352 00:17:47,872 --> 00:17:49,457 I thought you were leaving. 353 00:17:50,543 --> 00:17:52,462 After the speech. 354 00:17:53,046 --> 00:17:55,843 /The next morning, /when the sun rose over Manhattan, 355 00:17:55,843 --> 00:17:57,971 /Uncle Marshall is gone /to Brad's apartment, 356 00:17:57,971 --> 00:18:00,057 /to go with him /for a wedding in Vermont. 357 00:18:00,057 --> 00:18:01,768 /But once he arrived... 358 00:18:01,768 --> 00:18:03,062 No. 359 00:18:03,479 --> 00:18:05,149 No... 360 00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,069 No. 361 00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:10,448 NO! 362 00:18:10,866 --> 00:18:12,576 NO. 363 00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:18,168 Ted. 364 00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:21,089 Brad brought me flowers. 365 00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:22,467 Wait. 366 00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:24,678 Brad brought him flowers. 367 00:18:25,262 --> 00:18:28,476 Sorry. But this is funny again. 368 00:18:31,688 --> 00:18:33,984 - Oh, hello... - No, Brad, I don't want to hear it. 369 00:18:33,984 --> 00:18:36,988 I like you. Callas are my favorite flowers. 370 00:18:36,988 --> 00:18:39,701 I don't know where you found out about this. You just wanted to take me to a show 371 00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:42,497 but that's not cool, man. I can't believe you... 372 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:45,668 - Hello, honey. - Hi. 373 00:18:49,591 --> 00:18:52,595 - Hello, Marshall. - Hello, Kara. 374 00:18:52,595 --> 00:18:54,974 So again are you together? 375 00:18:54,974 --> 00:18:57,686 Yes. Since last night. 376 00:18:59,397 --> 00:19:01,484 Sorry. 377 00:19:01,484 --> 00:19:03,487 - I should call. - Yes, you should. 378 00:19:03,487 --> 00:19:05,782 - I didn't want you... -No, Brad. 379 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:09,996 NO. 380 00:19:15,713 --> 00:19:18,301 What about him? 381 00:19:18,301 --> 00:19:20,096 I don't know. 382 00:19:20,513 --> 00:19:22,808 I think he fell in love with me. 383 00:19:34,826 --> 00:19:37,914 I can't believe that we... you and me... 384 00:19:37,914 --> 00:19:39,417 - What have we done? - Nothing. 385 00:19:39,417 --> 00:19:42,922 Nothing happened. We just went to sleep. 386 00:19:42,922 --> 00:19:47,804 Did we go to sleep? I don't sleep in bed with a woman with whom I won't do "this". 387 00:19:47,804 --> 00:19:50,516 How can you... You. 388 00:19:50,516 --> 00:19:53,521 You fooled me against my will. 389 00:19:53,521 --> 00:19:55,816 You hugged me. 390 00:19:59,822 --> 00:20:02,535 We redid my place. 391 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:06,833 We stayed here on a Friday night, to watch the Conqueror, 392 00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:09,128 we slept together and we didn't have sex? 393 00:20:09,128 --> 00:20:12,634 Oh my god we are in a relationship. 394 00:20:12,926 --> 00:20:15,931 Do you think that's what a relationship is? 395 00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:20,854 You should be vaccinated but you infected me anyway. You have to go now. 396 00:20:21,230 --> 00:20:23,024 Barney. 397 00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:27,448 You're not mad at me. You're angry with yourself. 398 00:20:27,448 --> 00:20:30,828 You have lowered the protective barrier and you allowed someone to come into your life 399 00:20:30,828 --> 00:20:34,333 and you feel good about it. 400 00:20:35,043 --> 00:20:37,630 And it scares you. 401 00:20:37,630 --> 00:20:40,133 You have to go now. 402 00:20:40,133 --> 00:20:43,764 You can't throw me out! I put too much work into this place. 403 00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:46,936 Anyway, I'm already used to it to a certain standard of living. 404 00:20:46,936 --> 00:20:49,857 A certain standard of living? You didn't pay for... 405 00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:52,945 /And so Mr. and Mrs. Stinson, /two weeks after marriage, 406 00:20:52,945 --> 00:20:54,656 /decided to separate. 407 00:20:54,656 --> 00:20:56,868 /Fortunately /they managed to reconcile. 408 00:20:56,868 --> 00:21:01,457 /And this is the story about it /how Aunt Lily furnished her apartment. 409 00:21:04,171 --> 00:21:06,841 /Marshall met Brad /some time later. 410 00:21:06,841 --> 00:21:08,552 Oh my God, it's Brad. 411 00:21:08,552 --> 00:21:10,555 Laugh like I said something really funny. 412 00:21:10,555 --> 00:21:12,349 Right, right. 413 00:21:12,349 --> 00:21:13,268 Hi Marshall. 414 00:21:13,268 --> 00:21:14,769 Hello, how's it going? 415 00:21:14,853 --> 00:21:16,272 Not bad. 416 00:21:16,272 --> 00:21:18,985 - I'm... - Yes, I know who you are. 417 00:21:19,861 --> 00:21:21,864 I have to go. I have business to attend to. 418 00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,867 Yes, me too but mine is more important. 419 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,369 Well, see you then. 420 00:21:25,369 --> 00:21:27,956 Bright. Bright. 421 00:21:31,587 --> 00:21:34,174 Even if you don't think so tell me he looked fat. 422 00:21:34,174 --> 00:21:35,468 He looked fat.